As the adult child of narcissistic parents, you need to be aware that they won’t have the same level of maturity as you, even if you’re in your early twenties, and they are in their fifties.
It’s even likely that you would have had to take the adult role in the relationship since you were a child. For example, they could have parentified you by expecting that you take care of the household or younger children, or they would have expected you to listen to all their problems, including their gripes with your other parent. It’s awful to behold, but the truth is narcisssists don’t grow up. They might have learned adult skills, for example, they can operate computers, go to work and pay their bills, but on an emotional level they are still only toddlers.
One of the worst workplace experiences is to work with narcissists on a senior management level. They’re masters at screaming, shouting, crying, bullying and blame shifting. Junior staff with no voice provide them with the perfect source of narcissistic fuel. Most HR Departments will be on the side of the powerful, senior narcissist, even if they know about their atrocious behavior. Somehow, these people always manage to hang on to their jobs, while everyone else ends up leaving when they no longer want to deal with them.
Narcissists become stuck in their development. They have an immature view of life. They are incapable of personal growth, as they have no self-awareness. A narcissist can’t learn from the mistakes they make when they’re young, and then do better as they get older. Narcissists don’t develop rich inner lives as they age. Their lives are determined by external rules and functions, and their self-esteem depend on the constant validation they receive from others. They are stuck in pre-adolescent thinking; for them life never goes beyond being the best at everything and getting as much attention as possible.
Narcissists will typically worsen with age. They get crankier, since they just see the negative physical aspects of ageing, such as getting wrinkles and having less energy. Getting older is a disaster to them, as their physical attractiveness fades, and they have to work harder to exert control over those around them.
Their lives become harder as they start to run out of fuel sources. Children who were around to be bullied have grown into adults and moved away, wanting nothing more to do with them. They might try to control their adult children through money, but this doesn’t work on everyone. If their children have healed from the childhood trauma that was inflicted on them, it will be especially difficult to control them by a threat like they will be cut from the will. It’s unlikely that they will care, especially if they have managed to achieve success on their own.
Ultimately, it’s pointless to become upset by the behavior of senior narcissists. They’ll never change, as they are incapable of doing so. You’re also more mature than they’ll ever manage to be, even if they are years older than you. Safeguard your mental health. If you feel uncomfortable or even physically sick after interacting with someone, it might not be worthwhile to keep them in your life any longer.
Example Text
Example Text